I Wasn't Asexual. I Was Desensitized

Wed, 05/07/2014 - 09:18
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr Betty and Carlin,

I wanted to add my voice to the many of us that have been touched positively by your work and dedication to the sexual empowerment of individuals around the world. THANK YOU.

The past couple of years for me, since I found your site, have been a period of revelation and self discovery. I stopped taking the pill at 26 after over a decade of use to discover that I wasn't asexual as I had suspected but rather I was desensitized, my libido towards others was dead. I had always been sexual in the sense that I had been masturbating albeit with limited technique, since the age of 5. I was a twenty-something accidental virgin - not because of shame, morality or anything else.

In 18 months, I have had my first of many many kisses, taken control of my period and body with the luna cup (and become its ardent advocate), truly learnt about myself sexually - been the person to take my own virginity & discover the rainbow spectrum of the female orgasm -, had sexual encounters with strangers, having my first penetrative partner sex with one of them last night. It was not a profound, nor life-changing, romantic experience like so many friends have said I should wait for. It was comfortable, funny, and completely inconsequential - I looked into the mirror the next day and was who I had been the day before. A strong, confident and sexually empowered woman who had navigated her own sexual awakening/discovery without shame, without trauma, nor romanticized and impossible expectations. I was of course also shattered from my first of hopefully many 7-hour sex marathons. When I showed my friend to the door, I told myself I would thank the people that have helped me get to this point - you.

Thank you for helping me do this. As so many people have said, your work is truly life changing. Never doubt its importance. If other girls and women can travel the same path that I have and will continue to travel, then their lives will be much fuller and more enriched. And with that I will sign off and continue to hope that your Bodysex workshops come to Europe and that I will one day get to say this to you in person....Thank you.


Dear R,

What a delightful email. You make me proud and grateful to have been able to support your sexual path in such a positive way. What part of Europe do you live in? I'll make an effort to get there or send one of my Bodysex Women to run a group.

Happy orgasms,

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time