I Want Every Woman to Love Herself & Be Sovereign

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 11:23
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We got back from Kansas and walked right into a bodysex workshop. Knowing that my emotional healing would be followed by sharing orgasms with a group of women we never met before was exhilarating. These groups never seem like work...it never gets old. Bodysex transforms the women which transforms us.

I love setting up the circle. Betty calls her living room the "temple". Women always remark about the energy in the room. Those four walls have soaked up millions of authentic female orgasms during 30 years of workshops and Betty's private sessions, not to mention the group sex parties Betty threw in the 70's. It is sacred space and you feel that in your soul.

Answering the door naked is about making the women feel comfortable. If we're asking them to disrobe and enter the circle naked, then I should be naked too. When I walked into the foray to greet the next woman, she was already nude and had these amazing thigh-high wool socks cascading up her legs. I was staring at them when she remarked, "I just want you to know that I'm not contagious. I have psoriasis and my body decided to attack itself this morning." I looked at her arms and she had these beautiful red circles all over them. I smiled and allayed her fears, "we have three bleeding women in the circle including me.  It's fine." We laughed and entered the temple.

We never ask the women their ages or their race or any real personal information when they book a workshop. This group was mostly 30-somethings and, for the first time, we had two sisters. When we looked around the circle for the first group share, you could feel a certain tension. There was child abuse that evolved into self-mutiliation, a ton of Catholic guilt and sexual repression, and the loss of two children followed by a suicide attempt. We had some deep wounds to heal.

In these moments, I'm always struck by the strength and resiliance of women. "It takes enormous courage and self-love to be sovereign". Any women who finds herself at Betty's door has fought hard to get there.

I couldn't wait for genital show & tell. I rushed through my share (I'm always last) and set up the viewing area. I'm gonna say it again: all vulvas are beautiful and no two are alike. There's always some unique labia form or opalescent coloring or hair pattern. I could look at vulvas all day and never get bored. When we reassembled in the circle, Betty asked the women to share any thoughts they had about the experience. One of the women remarked how everyone's body language had changed. We'd connected to our bodies and bonded with each other. Shoulders were relaxed, eyes were clear, and faces had softened.

When I woke up the morning of Day 2, my pussy was in overdrive. I had to mop her up several times. The images and sounds and smells are so stimulating - not in a romantic way but in a more pure form of connection. You're together but alone, free to feel good without the weight on any agenda or expectation. As Betty always says, sex is "adult play" and I love playing with women in a safe space unrestrained by gender roles or social mores.

We started with a group share before erotic recess. One of the women was just beaming.  She shared how this was the first time in her life that she didn't hate her body.  She felt connected to herself and released from years of physical abuse and self-mutilation.  I asked her how old she was and she replied that she was 26, "perfect timing" I said.  She's definitely on her way to amazing things.  What a beautiful moment to witness, something I'll remember for the rest of my life. 

Now it was time to orgasm.

I watched Betty pull along side one of the women who'd never experienced an orgasm. She'd suffered great loss and was there to heal her heart and her body. Betty took her through several vibrators reminding her to breathe and rock her pelvis forward with each squeeze of her pc muscle and release it.  Then Betty had her come across the room and lay down in Betty's space next to me. She'd complained about all the orgasm sounds being distracting especially mine. Betty asked her to reframe it as inspiration for her orgasm. Then she handed her the hitachi.

Betty was determined - she was going to have an orgasm before she left our workshop and she succeeded. She had her first orgasm in the circle. To witness her journey and her release from feeling broken most of her life was so rewarding. I felt my eyes fill with tears. I would eat out of garbage cans to continue this work. There's no greater joy in my life than helping women learn to love themselves and their bodies.

This workshop was special for me because I feel like I've let go of the last little bits of my old life, everything that was holding me back. With each group, I learn more about myself and get closer to becoming the woman I'm destined to be.  I want every woman to feel as good as I do. I want every women to love herself and be sovereign.   I'm still in my sisterhood bubble, floating on air and tingling from head to toe.

Thank you
Little Lee
Pandora
Ruthie
Cassat
Chloe
Fun Fun
Bell
Inana

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson