Bodysex Keeps on Getting Better & Better

Tue, 09/23/2014 - 08:38
Submitted by Carlin Ross

This past weekend's Bodysex workshop was alot of firsts.  We had our first woman seeking certification from the Czech Republic, our first student from Angola, our first MTF transsexual, and my first baby bump. 

I'll get back to the baby bump but what had me a bit on edge was our first MTF transsexual.  We'd had several emails asking about whether we admit transgendered women.  Our only reservation was how the other women in the circle would feel - if it would be a distraction - but we knew that we had to make this break through.  So I decided not to tell Betty or any of the other women.  I decided that the best way for us to take this journey would be to have no knowledge and no expectations.

What an amazing weekend.  When we went around the circle for the group share, our transsexual sister was the first to answer "how do I feel about my body" and "how do I feel about my orgasm".  What became clear is that there is no choice for transgendered people.  They spend their lives with their brains wired for another body and it gets to the point where they can't take it anymore.  Nothing makes sense until they receive their first dose of hormones - then everything feels right.  I found myself overwhelmed with compassion.  I learned more in those few minutes then in countless lectures and articles.  First person sharing is the best education. 

Gential show & tell is always the healing.  We sat and looked at each other's vulvas while we nibbled on strawberries and claimed our sex organs.  There was definitely excitement building because we were going to view a surgically constructed vulva.  All I can say is that there's no way to tell that she wasn't born with her vulva.  And the description of the surgery made total sense.  Every penis starts off as a clitoris so all the right tissue is there.  You can have orgasms and you can look like an average woman.  As I viewed at all the pussy portraits I took over the weekend, they were all natural and beautiful.  No one could be singled out.

I was much more relaxed on Day 2.  Betty was energized by the group and everyone felt happy and connected.  As we went into erotic recess, I could see this big smile on Betty's face.  And less than ten minutes into our session Betty had a huge orgasm...she rode that wave for a good hour before taking a break.  There's something so grounding and ecstatic about witnessing an octogenarian's orgasm.  To know that orgasms never end - that you can keep going - is reaffirming.  Betty doesn't always orgasm in the groups so I knew that this weekend was special.  I soaked up all her orgasm energy and looked down at my growing baby bump. 

I'm four and a half months pregnant and due the end of February.  It's thrilling and intimidating all at the same time.  If you follow my writing, I've alluded to ending a long-term relationship of 9 years.  It was hard...I felt horrible...but I knew that I would never be happy unless I put myself first.  Somehow life has a way of resetting your path and mine brought me to a man I've known for 13 years who's my perfect compliment.  In six short months we were married and expecting - it feels predestined.  We found out last week that we're having a boy.  I didn't realize how much I wanted to raise a son until I saw that ultrasound. 

This weekend I felt so was just waves of gratitude.  I kept holding my belly giddy with the idea of my son surrounded by so much female sexual power.  We'll do four workshops before I give birth and he'll soak up all that sex positive energy.  Supporting women through this healing journey as he grows inside me has to have some effect.  I want to be the mother he needs in this life and every workshop I get better. 

I feel so appreciative that Betty decided to hold workshops again - that we're moving forward with our foundation and received our 501(c)3 status - that we're going to create a global sex ed curriculum for mobile, social, web.  All my sacrifices have been rewarded and, in this moment, I feel complete.  

Thank you

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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Congratulations. Wishing you

Tue, 09/23/2014 - 10:22

Congratulations. Wishing you only joy & happiness.

Baby bump

Tue, 09/23/2014 - 10:44
Marco (not verified)

I'm really happy for you! Congratulations to you and your man!! :-)

Best Wishes!

Tue, 09/23/2014 - 11:46
ShellE (not verified)

Congratulations, Carlin!  I can't imagine any better news, and a boy at that!!  I have one son and one daughter, and can say that mother-son relationships are so special.  Enjoy this special time.


Tue, 09/23/2014 - 12:48
Uschi (not verified)

Dear Carlin,

I've been following your articles, videos and FB-post for a while and most of the time they make me laugh, sometimes angry, but this one really moved me.

The description of the "show & tell" with the transsexual sister, showing your baby bump and telling about your split-up and getting married and pregnant...

I am amagazin writer in Germany and while reading your article I understood once more that you can "get" the reader (which was me in that case) when you start telling about yourself. Makes it personal, makes it emotional and even more interesting.

So thank you for this insight and conformation. And please do continue with this valuable work!


Sexy mummas

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 05:57
Jenny Macd (not verified)

Congratulations on your pregnancy I am about the exact same stage as you and pregnancy delivers such delicious treats!! so important that sexual energy continues to flow around a baby and great to see you promoting that work.  Pregnancy does not mean celibacy (unless you want it) feels like there are so few women who know that!!

Good luck with everything come feb, i can highly recommend the orgasmic birth film if you are not already aware of it if for nothing else other than some positive birth imagery.

a desperate to qualify as a bodysex educator, Scotland!

Yay to baby!

Wed, 09/24/2014 - 16:12
Rachel D (not verified)

I am so happy for you and your amazing chance to soak up all that sexual energy before giving birth!

I had contacted you to go to a workshop and had cancelled due to my learning that I was pregnant & would be 6 months pregnant at the time of the workshop. You had told me about your baby bump as well. I was waiting for this article to congratulate you.

I'm due mid-february and I just found out last Saturday that I'm having a boy as well. I'm so excited that you, a strong influence in my thoughts, are going through exactly the same things as I am. Raising a boy with all the sex positive messages will be thrilling and exciting! 

I just started feeling my boy move around not too long ago - the first clear time being during an earth-shattering orgasm! Sex, sensitivity and orgasms are so much more intense, and I feel that my body finally makes perfect sense to me.

Plenty of love to you and to your boy,



Thu, 09/25/2014 - 08:45
anonirama (not verified)

so happy for you, baby and man. How long was I in outer space?
And so it starts, once upon a time.....
the new generation of sex positive individuals born from independent orgasmic mothers!!!!!
They are going to be pretty amazing beings, I'm so curious for the worlds future. With mothers like you we have nothing to worry about.
keep growing lots of love


Fri, 09/26/2014 - 11:43
asa (not verified)

I am so happy for you. Best wishes.


Mon, 09/29/2014 - 14:15
Ron The Logician (not verified)

Dear Carlin,

You must be so very happy, but we all know about later pregnancies. I hope that timely and meticulous pre-natal diagnosis will let you spare any potential person the crushing burden of a life of grave disability. I am no mystic, but I will still rhetorically cross my fingers for your baby.

When you first wrote us about coming off birth control pills, I resisted the urge to say that I was deafened by the sound of your "biological alarm clock" blasting away like a klaxon - I didn't think it was my place to state that. But now, I hope you don't mind me noting that I thought so.

Finally, it seems I was also right when I wrote I very much doubt I was the only man in the world who felt this way! in a posting here - almost to the day you became pregnant.

Again, very best wishes for happiness to you and your husband. Hubby sure got himself a very special lady. <3 <3 <3

Cult of Perfection

Tue, 09/30/2014 - 10:08

Apologies in advance for any offence given...

There is nothing so poisonous as the cult of perfection, from the perfect (immaculate?) conception through to the perfect pregnancy, the perfect orgasmic labour, the perfect able-bodied child and the perfect (self-sacrificing) mother.

The one thing I remember clearly from my pregnancy was the unsolicited and unwanted advice and commentary. The advice was often contradicted by the same cast of characters in my second pregnancy. Total strangers felt entitled to tell me what I should eat, drink and do. They felt entitled to ask all sorts of questions, age, medical history, attitude towards abortion etc.

I do not know what I would have done if the genetic testing I underwent (high risk because of his family background - another question always asked) had shown either of my daughters to have Down's Syndrome or Cystic Fibrosis, or any other less common genetic marker but I bitterly resented the commentary from people who assumed a positive result would mean I would or should automatically have an abortion.

Can we just throw away the idea of perfection and let women live their own reproductive lives without too much helpful but unsought advice? Let's accept that thinking rational women who choose to have a child don't need to be reminded of the pitfalls because they've probably already bought the book and signed the medical/legal disclaimers.

Advice on How to Raise Boys

Sat, 10/25/2014 - 22:26
Rebecca C (not verified)

Hey Carlin, love you lots! Congradulations on having another child. I can't wait to see pictures of your baby when he's born. I'm sorry that it turned out to be boy, though. But that's not really to worry about though since there are parenting strategies to getting around the problems that arise from this, fortunately. What I would do for now that he is a small child is to raise him without gender roles and guidelines. I'm sure gender stereotypical stuff doesn't get pushed onto anyone in your household, but the thing that I'm worried about, though, is would if despite the androgynous non-gender/gender-neutral/gender-non-existent environment he is raised in, he srill becomes a macho, roughhousey, energetic Mr. Hot Shot Muscle Arms because of his natural male hormones or from being with friends with other boys like that. Not that I am saying that he will become like that! He may very well not become like that at all, but would if he does? I would like to share with you some feminist parenting techniques that I'm not sure if you have heard about or thought about. There are some techniques that more and more feminist mothers are discovering that help to keep their boys from becoming masculine, roughhousey, super-macho brats that their hormones, their friends, their penises, and society in general are steering them to becoming. 
The first step is monitoring his behavior as he grows toward adolescence checking for signs of masculine vigor in his character. When you have finally had enough of his macho brat boyishness you can start by giving him medroxyprogesterone acetate and cyproterone acetate pills. Once per day, you will start by giving your son 1 medroxyprogesterone acetate pill and 1 cyproterone acetate pill. After several months of being on medroxyprogesterone acetate and cyproterone acetate, your son will be a changed, much more gender neutral, manageable, lovable kid.
Just my advice on how to keep boys more gender neutral to prevent them from growing up to patriarchal tyrants, Carlin. Hope you will remember this later if a problem does arise like that with your boy.