It Was a Weekend of Connection

Fri, 06/22/2018 - 08:28
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We've been quiet. I've been working on the relaunch of D&R (which is weeks away from being done), finalizing our mobile site, closing out our Bodysex season while preparing for our Fall groups, and being a mom.

Personally, I've lost almost all interest in social media. I used to love promoting new content and posting our youtube clips but something changed for me. Net neutrality - dead. Safe online spaces for sex workers - dead. Fake news, racism, and state-sponsored cruelty - alive and well. It feels like a constant dick whipping. As I labor to raise a sex positive, happy son, I wonder whether we'll ever see the end of toxic masculinity.

It's in these moments that Bodysex brings me back. Sitting in the circle with women who traveled from New Zealand, Australia, Hawaii, the West Coast, and the Deep South for sisterhood is the reset I need to get back out there and feel confident that women will save the world.

If I had to pick one word for this group, it would be connection.

The women bonded instantly. Their shares were so deep and raw. When we hear our own struggle mirrored in the experiences of others, it reassures us that we are not to blame...that we deserve more...that culture has to shift. We share our pain and we are released. We have been seen. We have been heard. We are all valuable.

One of the women shared how she realized the goddess was within her - that instead of looking to her partner - she found deeper pleasure through self-knowledge. That resonated with another women who found herself thinking about that share. The image of her inner goddess helped her let go of her past and go inward. These are the most beautiful moments.

Then there's Betty. She is a testament to living a life on your own terms. She is our sage, our protector, our feminist war horse guiding us through each ritual with wisdom and humor. There are moments when I look over at Betty and everything stops. She is so powerful and so compassionate. It's like she glows or maybe it's an aura that fills around her when she sits in the circle. She is our hero. She absorbs our pain and hits back with humor. We laugh and laugh and laugh.

After genital show & tell, Betty takes the women through the structures of the internal clitoris explaining the female model of sexual response and how it differs from men. I like to take a few pictures because the women are always so engaged.

Older women aren't valued by our culture yet they possess the wisdom that needs to be handed down to the next generation. If you think of all the information women acquire - orgasm, menstruation, fertility, pregnancy, birth, child rearing, menopause - just from living, it doesn't make sense that there's no place for the crone in modern society. Women are the teachers and the healers. This is the type of education that I want the Betty Dodson Foundation to support. Older women sharing their knowledge with the younger generation.

Erotic recess was a joy. We orgasmed and we laughed. There's nothing more powerful than a laughgasm. One of the women had a pretty vocal orgasm and I announced, "I knew she was a screamer" and we all broke up. I wish everyone person could experience pleasure in a safe space where you could orgasm and laugh and share your joy free from shame and guilt. Betty and I believe these sort of group experiences were part of our early development as humans. When we limited pleasure to state and church-sanctioned couplings, we lost a part of our humanity. Bodysex takes us back to our past to fully experience our present.

It was a beautiful weekend and, as always, we think it was our "best group ever" (we say that after every workshop). One of the women remarked that she was surprised how much she connected with all the women in the group. She knew that she would love Betty and me but had no idea how much she was going to love each woman in the circle. That's the power of Bodysex.

Thank you
Clit and a half
My Heart
Pua Kinikini

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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Carlin, Such a nice

martiB's picture
Fri, 07/06/2018 - 12:54

Carlin, Such a nice rejuvinating session for you and I'm so glad you got back to what you love and ignites your soul. I have not had the oportunity and am not fortunate to have the social lifestyle you enjoy but the few occassions I have masturbated with a group of women, it has been wonderful. I enjoyed reading about the woman who moaned so loud and your supportive response to her. This is one thing about me that holds me back perhaps from doing it more. I can lose control when my orgasms are extremely intense and it can be embarrassing. For me, masturbating among other women makes my orgasms especially strong and so I hold back when I want so much to let go. I envy you your ability to let go and trust in others, to have a lifestyle and career than enables you to masturbate so much in a socially supportive setting. Trust me, I would be right there every day if I could.  LOL
The experienced I have had have helped me so much in my solo masturbation and orgasms though, and for that, I am greatful.  I'm an avid masturbator and highly orgasmic because of that.


Sincere and supportive experiences

Thu, 08/16/2018 - 13:21

I enjoy reading about Betty's workshops. So honest and personal, and always a growth experience for everyone and I know they all go on to enjoy a more masturbatory life. I'm glad she has them and shares them as she does.
I didn't understand or appreciate masturbation years ago with my previous girlfriend. I felt her need to masturbate was a comment on my ability to please her and so we didn't talk about it. We broke after I discovered she had been masturbating regularly with a girl friend of hers since before we had even started dating. I discovered a drawer of vibrators and other toys and so she finally opened up with me. Even though I did my best to satisfy her, she had been masturbating during the day while I was at work and even in the evenings if I was away or had to work late. Her own work was part-time and flexible and she could sometimes work from home so it was easy for her in that way. Her schedule and workplace supported her masturbatory lifestyle.
We broke up and I reflected on it a lot since. I realize now she merely had diverse orgasmic needs which included our own sex but also extended beyond that. Her other needs were diffferent but strong had to be satisfied through other means. She was simply making the best out of it and exploring and developing that side of herself.
My current girlfriend is a masturbator and a fan of yours. I support her fully in her masturbation and that has actually spiced up our sex life and brought us closer together. I encourage her masturbation and take an interest in her orgasms and her development in that area. She attends a weekly tea with two other women each week where they share their methods, exchange toys, and masturbate. She has, on occassion, gone away on weekend retreats to a friends cabin, even a week long cruise once with them, where, among enjoying many other activities together, they "masturbate masturbate masturbate" as Betty says sometimes.
I have learned to make time to masturbate more and enjoy it. Not so much the ejaculation as the journey getting there and so I edge my erection for a couple hours a day before finally ejaculating. I know that's become pretty common now days and so I'm comfortable with that.
My needs are simply just not as intense as hers or my previous girlfriend's and I've come to terms wth that. But helping her progress in her mastubation gives me satisfaction I cannot describe. I actually developed a fantasy of her becoming a nudist and masturbating throughout each day with other women. She thought my fantasy was sweet and confessed that was actually about what her weekend retreats were and we both laughed. She said she would help me fulfill my fantasy if that's what I truely wanted.
You and your bodysex workshops are the incarnation of that fantasy as well.