Marisa Black

Mon, 11/08/2010 - 04:49
Submitted by Marisa Black
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My writing on this site was once under the byline "Dee Greene," and before that "darkGreeny." I came to the place where owning my sexuality included linking my real name to the words I write about bodies, sex, and gender.

I let go of the pseudonym in August 2011, three weeks before going to New York City to film the Bodysex DVD with Betty, Carlin, Sheila, Sayaka, D, and Helen.

Embracing masturbation, both alone and with others, holds a key place for me in finding wholeness sexually. I've masturbated for as long as I can remember, and that strong relationship with my self-sex was part of what caused me to question the beliefs of the Mormon culture in which I was raised.

Since leaving Mormonism as an adolescent, I continued to cherish my self-generated orgasms, and I now find myself increasingly intrigued by the social aspects of shared self-sex.

Over the span of my adulthood so far, my sex and relationship styles have shifted and shifted again. I expect they may continue to change.

Married to a male for most of my twenties, I practiced polyamory before, during, and after that marriage. For the first half of my thirties, I was monogamous with a female partner. For the last half of my thirties, I briefly revisited poly as a single person, grappled with identity and practice in matters of sexuality and relationships, and leaned into being single and at times celibate for significant stretches. Having completed my fourth decade, I find myself more quiet and deliberate in matters of sexuality than previously, ever seeking centeredness and clarity in relations with others and myself.

I continue to learn how to hold all the pieces of myself and my history with wide, gentle arms. In finding reconciliation, I'm making room for all of me.

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Lubricant on My Nightstand: 
Good Clean Love Restore, bio-matched
Finding room for all of me