sexual double standard

Because Bad Girls Say No

Tue, 03/13/2018 - 08:16
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We have this cultural myth that if we leave young girls in the dark about their bodies, deny the clitoris, and shame them against sexual experimentation (thank you virginity myth & slut stigma) that they will remain chaste and only have intercourse when they're married. The sexual double standard has always been about limiting female sexual activity.

New research has found that sexually experienced women - women who valued their sexual pleasure - were more likely to say no to unwanted sexual contact while inexperienced women were more likely to engage in unwanted sexual contact. In other words, bad girls say no and good girls say yes.

Finding Sexual Fulfillment is So Easy for Him & Difficult for Me

Thu, 06/04/2015 - 07:29
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

My (recent) ex engages in a lot of casual sex, & never has any trouble finding a willing partner whenever he wants. I feel *really* bitter that finding (at least some basic level of) sexual fulfillment is so easy for him, & comparatively so difficult for me. I'm convinced that the cards are stacked against me in a variety of (mostly gendered ways) - ie casual sex is a much riskier proposition for me (in terms of pregnancy as well as risk of violence), weeding out the misogynists is hard & exhausting work, a lot of straight men are selfish or just bad lovers, etc....&, in my opinion, there are just not nearly as many attractive men as there are attractive women.

Is It Bad to Post Nude Pictures of Yourself Online?

Thu, 12/26/2013 - 10:59
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I am a 29 year old guy and about 2 years ago my girl friend took some nude photos of me. We decided to post some of them on a blog and I got a real big thrill from doing this.  Since then I have been kind of addicted to posting fully nude pics of myself online.

I have never had any negative comments on the pics and I am wondering if there is something wrong with me because most people would never do this or show there faces in the pictures.  Do you think this is a really bad habit?

Dear R,

Fired for Having Premarital Sex

Mon, 03/04/2013 - 14:21
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Teri James worked at a Christian school in California and was fired because she was 30, unmarried and pregnant.  Apparently, when she signed her employment agreement she agreed not to engage in "sexually immoral behavior including premarital sex." When her baby bump appeared, so did her pink slip.

And here's the crazy part: they fired Teri and hired the man who knocked her up. Once again the women gets a big scarlet letter across her chest and the man walks away scot free. Maybe they're putting pressure on her to marry her baby daddy...but why would you fire a single mother to be and hire a single man? What public policy does that serve? How is that family values?

I Feel Anger Towards Cheerleaders' Sexual Dancing

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 09:12
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty and Carlin,

I love this website so much it's not funny. I check it pretty much every day when I have questions about my feminist views and how other people view the things I’m thinking about, which brings me to this question. Over the weekend I went to see a basketball game and a rugby game where cheerleaders were both present. I found myself getting really angry about how their dancing was very sexual.

The World's Worst Women

Sun, 04/15/2012 - 08:05
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I keep stumbling across these misogynistic book covers. 

What I don't understand is why the hate for Anna Marie Hahn for massaging old men.  You'd think that she would be applauded for caring for their sexual needs.  No, if you're sexual you're evil.

Let's End Sexual Hypocrisy

Mon, 06/13/2011 - 08:19
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I’ve finally learned my lesson with the Anthony Weiner incident of texting a photo of his penis on Twitter. BFD! 

This hard working Congressman is one of the few Democrats who speaks his mind unlike the spineless shits who cave into Republican demands. My response to these uproars over some poor public persona getting raked over the coals for a moment of sexual pleasure that strayed beyond marital monogamous sex is to simply ignore it. Now I realize that’s the wrong approach.

Demonizing Male Sexuality

Sun, 05/22/2011 - 09:42
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Clarisse Thorn argues that we demonize men who are honest about their sexual needs:

"The pressure put on men to be initiators, but to avoid seeming creepy or aggressive, leads to an unpleasant double bind. After all, the same gross cultural pressures that make women into objects force men into instigators. (How many women do you know who proposed to their husbands?)

So how can a man express his sexual needs without being tarred as a creep? After all, the point of promoting sex-positive attitudes is for everyone to be able to be open about their needs and desires, right?"